Continued Correspondences from my Love Affair with the Great British Author Neil Gaiman (and more recently Terry Pratchett)

1 08 2008

Neil – Oh dear, how embarrassing! I came across this unposted letter while finishing up my most recent one. I shall post them both together, and I apologize for my forgetfulness.

July 3rd 2008

Dear Neil,

I have, as promised, moved cautiously from our one-afternoon stands to timidly attempting a weekend getaway (encouraged by my trusted relationship-advise-giving friends) with Nerverwhere. Though I did believe this particular adventure of yours was overall quite predictable (really, I knew almost exactly how the weekend was going to go after the first couple pages!) It was definitely satisfying. There were a few minor surprises but most of the enjoyment came from the way you described and really showed me the ins and outs of your imagination. Your ability to create worlds is astounding, and your attention to little details and the bits of humor you bring to our time together are much appreciated.

That being said, I am still cautious about entering another long-term relationship with you. Though the combination of the current success of our weekend fling and my lack of plans for the rest of the summer is damaging my resolve to stay away from your longer writings…

Yours occasionally,

– Lindsay

July 31st 2008

Dear Neil and Terry,

You sure know how to show a reader a good time! I must admit I was a bit skeptical at first… my attempt to find someone other than Neil to spend some time with (Terry, that’d be you) didn’t quite work out as planned. I found myself so intimidated by your section of the bookstore, Terry, that it was much easier to go with the partially familiar and pick up both you and Neil in Good Omens. As it turns out, you two are so much fun together (as I’m sure you’ve both heard before) that I felt entirely at ease with both of you no matter where we went or what we were doing! (On the subway, camping, anywhere! Though I have yet to try the bathtub as you both seemed to suggest… ahem.) You guys kept me laughing out loud all week. I even wrote down my favorite exchange:

In fact the only things in the flat Crowley devoted any personal attention to were the houseplants. They were huge and green and glorious, with shiny, healthy, lustrous leaves.
This was because, once a week, Crowley went around the flat with a green plastic plant mister, spraying the leaves, and talking to the plants. He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did.

What he did was put the fear of God into them.

More precisely, the fear of Crowley.

The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.

In addition to which, every couple of months Crowley would pick out a plan that was growing too slowly, or succumbing to leaf-wilt or browning, of just didn’t look quite as good as the others, and he would carry it around to all the other plants. “Say goodbye to your friend,” he’d say to them. “He just couldn’t cut it…”

Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.

The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.

Pure brilliance.

I did find the end of our time together a little, thrown together? Hasty? Dissatisfying? Or perhaps I was just a little distracted by the end of our week together. I do wish I could pursue a long-term relationship with both of you together (please?) though I understand if you would rather not continue to be involved with each other and I hope I can continue to see both of you separately in the future. The week I got to spend with both of you was splendid, and I shall treasure it always.

And Neil – I think I’d like to try something new with you in the future, I’ll keep you posted ^.~

Yours more frequently,

– Lindsay




One response

1 08 2008

Mmm, I confess, I’ve been involved with both Neil and Terry in that one particular go. I agree, it was most enjoyable, but yet…something about them just prevents me from coming back. I’m not sure why. It was one of those things where while we were together, I laughed all the time and really enjoyed myself, but then I never felt like calling them back. I know, I should apologize and just get back with them since we all had such a great time, but I dunno. I guess there’s a spark missing somewhere. I guess I can only think of them as friends. Best of luck with them though, let me know if you find something else good!

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